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But because I know I'm not one of those sellouts, I feel no guilt about dating white women. If anything, I just hate that there's such a vast misconception about my intentions from people who don't even know me.
I've been with many black women. But I don't feel obligated to be with them. A lot of white women have been extremely accepting of and loving towards me my entire life and that's all there is to it.
Though this very article was written in an attempt to bring context to these consistently misunderstood relationships, I don't have to explain who I date to anyone.
The reason why I do anything is because I want to. I never really think about race while dating unless somebody else makes it an issue or I notice that the way a white woman I'm with looks at something is flawed because of her upbringing.
But that's not a dealbreaker. I view it as an opportunity to educate and eradicate even a small amount of ignorance. If I explain some racially complex subtlety of life to my white girlfriend, that's one more white person who knows why using "ghetto" as a pejorative is cringeworthy and offensive.
That's one more white person who knows why I'm going to arrogantly list off my academic and professional achievements if some white person asks me if I play basketball.
And I do play basketball. But don't assume that that's how the fuck I got by in life because I'm black and tall.
And I'm going to go off if you say some dumb shit like that to me. But outside of those situations, I'm not thinking about race like that.
I've always just dated women who made sense for me. I've never gone into it thinking, she should be white. The thing is, I have to consider that while I've hooked up with women of other races, just about all of my girlfriends in life, since I was 13, have been white.
What does that even mean? Am I secretly one of those black guys who thinks white women are better and hotter and I'm just not ignorant enough to admit it?
I've never gone out of my way to reject black women; I just have way higher success rates with white women. I went to a black high school and I wasn't on any of that thug shit and I'm not saying all black women want thugs, but at my high school, a lot of them did and they didn't really care about me.
And that's fine. I wasn't like, "Oh my God, black women don't want me," because I'm not entitled to any woman. But there were white girls at school who were fucking with me and that's who I went with.
Still, I can't help but wonder if I've been brainwashed by the Eurocentric beauty standards that dominate the world. I've had varying degrees of romance with women of most races—beyond the black and white binary.
Personality is always decisive, but we know that physical attraction is important. I'm very honestly and legitimately attracted to the features of black women, and Latina women, and Asian women, and Indian women, and any other type of woman, but I definitely like the straight, light hair and fair skin and colored eyes you get with a lot of white women.
It's not like I think that type of beauty is superior, but motherfuckers try to make you feel guilty for being attracted to those types of features at all.
Let's be real, blonde hair and blue eyes are fucking attractive and thinking that doesn't mean you're a piece of shit who gives those features inherent value over the features of other races.
Rihanna is hot and so is Blake Lively. Lupita N'yongo is hot and so is Allison Williams. Sue me for not allowing my race to limit what I find attractive.
Maybe knowing how much a diverse range of attraction upsets people is part of the appeal of interracial dating.
No matter how much more commonplace relationships between black men and white women become, the historical context always gives them a rebellious, taboo component that, honestly, kind of adds to the fun and excitement.
Interracial marriages weren't even legal in every state 50 years ago. I've never gone into an interracial relationship outright trying to rebel against anything, but I've always enjoyed making people uncomfortable because ignorant, close-minded fucks need to have new ways of thinking shoved in their faces so they understand that they're wrong and shit is different now.
White women are sadly some type of trophy and marker of success, and that's a huge fucking problem. As a black man, it invalidates the authenticity of any relationships I have with white women.
It's depressingly superficial and it's dangerous. This ideal is why Elliot Rodger felt he had a right to start shooting—because he couldn't get a white woman to go with his BMW.
That said, I understand where the ideal comes from. Different experts and commentators have ascribed sexual satisfaction as the major reason white women date black men.
Other reasons given by these men are that these women hold the misconception that white men are not masculine enough compared with the blacks, which lead them to experiment with black guys; that the white women also do it in rebellion against the old prejudice of whites against blacks, and in the process drawing attention to themselves.
The position of these whites has been that the relationships do not last long and often end in heartbreak for the white women.
However, this cannot be entirely acceptable, considering the growing number of interracial marriages between white women and black men in the US and across the Atlantic.
This clearly smacks of envy on the part of the whites. I have just had my black girlfriend, and I am feeling pressured! We were talking about sex the other night and she put some doubts in me because she was like she had only been with black men and she said that they are better equipped and last longer.
Its just made me feel pressured. Am I correct to feel this, and was her statement correct? Just feeling a bit pressured. It is clear that the controversy of black men having better libido than white men has contributed to the drive for white women seeking out black men.
However, can the same be said about foreplay and romance between a black man and a white man? Investigations revealed that white men are better than black men in that department.
That perhaps explains why the number of black women dating whites is rising almost at the same rate as white women urging for black men, as the black women apparently find the white men exotic, fascinating and exciting in foreplay, especially oral sex, before the real thing.
Why is that? Or maybe the white boyfriends, for some funny reasons, are more into pleasing their girl than the black guys? This goes for the friends and people I know.
There was almost uniformity in their comments that white men are far better than black men in foreplay and romance because the whites are naturally warm and caring and are out to please their women almost selflessly.
There is no doubt that, while white women enjoy foreplay, they are more attracted by the virility of the black man; and while black women equally like their fellow strong and long-lasting blacks, they find the patience and gentlemanliness to please them by the whites to be romantically exciting.
However, statistics has shown that there are more cases of white women going for black men than vice versa. We like to be liked!
When someone finds you unique and special, it makes you feel better about yourself. We love when white men are fascinated by our hair or skin complexion.
White men like that all the characteristics of black women are new to them. We like being able to show our significant other new things. We get to teach someone else about our unique selves and be appreciated for it at the same time.
It is great to just be yourself and know that the person you are dating finds it all fascinating. Our hair is a reason of its own. You have to mention hair.
We appreciate anyone who likes the kinkiness of our hair. So if a white man likes the curly hair of black women, that will be a good reason why black women love white men.
White men tend to like things about women that are new and unique. Our hair is definitely one of those characteristics. Who does not like to be admired for a unique trait they have?
Not to discount the other reasons why black women love white men, but there is simply a shortage of good black men out there. Black men are increasingly coming out as gay or ending up in trouble with the law.
This leads us to date outside of our race. White men tend to have it together. Because we cannot find viable options within our own race, we look to other races of men for prospects.
White men turn out to be that viable choice time and time again. They make great partners for all the reasons that are listed above and below.
We all know chivalry is not dead. They still do things like open the door for their ladies. This is not only a nice gesture, but also a way of showing respect to woman.
Any woman likes chivalry — not just black women. So when a white man shows chivalry, it makes him all the more desirable. White men are great partners for women of all races.
Black women especially love white men because of how different it is from dating men of other races. When it comes to money, white men usually know how to manage it.
This is a great trait to have in a relationship. Dating can become a very large expense if you do not watch your wallet.
They know how to entertain a woman while being financially responsible.
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